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April 15, 2008
Happy Birthday Mike and Lau!
GEORGE CARLIN'S VIEWS ON AGING
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YEAS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8 Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
We love you guys, Happy Birthday! Post your birthday wishes to Mike and Lau to comments.
Posted by Nicole Okumu at April 15, 2008 9:17 PM
Comments
Wow Mike you have never looked better.
Ageing has done nothing to impact your speedo line.
Happy Birthday on you
Posted by: C Peak at April 15, 2008 10:06 PM
Happy Birthdays, gents. It is a pleasure to train with you. Or perhaps I should say y'all. Or if I were from Pittsburgh, like Jonathan, it would be yinz (or youns). How are youns doin'?
I have to say I am really psyched that Nicole posted that dude taking off his clothes while yelling "Happy Birthday." It gave me a warm and pleasant feeling, not unlike when I climb the ropes.
I will be departing the Bay Area on Thursday for about 10 days. As a cult member, this is of course painful and unacceptable. LB, I have my hairshirt at the ready and it is just brimming with fleas and lice. I can't wait to wear it for the duration of the trip. I will miss you folks (y'all, youns) and I wish you many hours of suffering at the gym.
Now that's out of the way, I would like to offer my additional ideas on how to stay young:
- Listen to heavy metal. Helmet's Meantime is a great place to start.
- Stop eating vegetables and start consuming vanilla ice cream. Lots of vanilla ice cream. Sorry, Lau. I just can't help myself.
- Protein is for sissies. Sugar is for power athletes. Once again, sorry, Lau.
- Exercise can injure you, so don't do it. The key to a slim youthful figure is sloth and potato chips.
- Refuse to take any responsibility for your health and safety and demand that others take on liability for anything you might possibly do. If this doesn't work, be really rude to those that won't agree to your terms.
- Consider staying away from natual light of any kind.
- Start smoking.
Well, my work for the evening is done. It time to drink some whole milk and drift off to sleep with visions of half naked Arabian men jiggling away in my dreams.
Posted by: TomC at April 15, 2008 10:51 PM
great post, nicole. happy birthday guys!
Posted by: sierra at April 15, 2008 10:53 PM
Happy Happy Mike and Lau
Birthday Birthday Lau and Mike
Enjoy your days and Play all night
With all the Ice cream, girls and fun you like!
Posted by: Amy at April 16, 2008 3:35 AM
Happy Birthday, guys!
Posted by: James P at April 16, 2008 7:21 AM
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday mike and lau
happy birthday to you
have a healthy year!
Posted by: lance at April 16, 2008 1:59 PM
Happy Birthday. You guys are old.
Posted by: Jonathan at April 16, 2008 6:58 PM
Oh, and Tom, I prefer "Strap It On" to "Meantime."
Posted by: Jonathan at April 16, 2008 7:26 PM
Oh, and Tom, I prefer "Strap It On" to "Meantime."
Strap It On rocks in no uncertain terms. I'm particularly fond of Bad Moon and Blacktop. However, it was Meantime where the boys really put everything together and created a masterpiece. That album is a veritable how-to on concise, near perfect song writing. It embodies the kind of economy, sincerity, and originality the likes of which are found in almost nothing produced today that falls under the tattered umbrella of "heavy metal." Meantime blew people's minds and it was ripped off by almost every musician that heard it. Page Hamilton is a god. I think I need to go listen to that album right now.
Posted by: Tom C at April 16, 2008 7:55 PM
Happy Birthday Old People! Old as in, Old Gangstas... I hope this next year offers as much happiness as you can take - I've said it before and will do so again, the 30's are awesome.
As for that video. My eyes are burning from the unexpected assault. I must go now and put on my beer goggles. Someone please give him a free membership to Crossfit.
Posted by: mojo rising at April 16, 2008 8:58 PM