CrossFit Oakland

I overheard this one in the gym the other day, and thought it would make a good shirt:

"My Mom makes me do Crossfit"

Allen, I love your suggestion. I think mine would be,
"Crossfit is My Yoga"

"It will hurt."

"Superhero Boot Camp"

"My Gym Can Beat Up Your Gym"

"Pain Does a Body Good"

"Increasing Oakland's homicide rate - Crossfit."

one of the guys in that video of "the 300" cast training said: "if you're not nervous before a workout, maybe it's not hard enough." I've always liked that.

pain is weakness leaving the body

I second Steven's nomination - it's brilliant

Christopher Peak suggested this one earlier today:

"CrossFit or Die."

I'm not much of a fan of "Smoke you like cheap crack." That's one reason I don't own a CFO T-shirt. "Suck it up buttercup" is only slightly better. I'd like something I could wear in public without being embarrassed by the text on my shirt. A great CrossFit slogan came from CrossFit San Francisco - "Fran is my homegirl." It's funny, brief, and primarily meaningful to a selected audience. It is seriously clever.

An ideal CFO T-Shirt would have a cool looking logo on it. A catchy slogan is nice, but not needed. However, a good looking logo is more difficult to come by than a one-liner. The cats at CF Santa Cruz North are awesome, but their skull logo is neither particularly inviting nor creative.

With that being said, I am a fan of sayings in Latin. Here's a few possibilities:

Facta non verba - Deeds, not words
Alea iacta est - The die has been cast. Supposedly uttered by Caesar before crossing the Rubicon River into Rome with his army, thus beginning a civil war. Used to denote the beginning of something momentous.
Animis opibusque parati - Prepared in mind and resources. Denotes readiness for unexpected circumstances.
Audaces fortuna iuvat - Fortune favors the bold.
Exercito ergo sum - I exercise therefore I am. Someone more familiar with Latin than I should check my verb choice and conjugation here.
Nemo liber est qui corpori servit - No one is free who is a slave to his body
Non semper erit aestas - It will not always be summer (be prepared for hard times)
Vincit qui se vincit - He conquers who conquers himself

Let's not leave out your friend and mine, Bill Shakespeare:

This above all: to thine own self be true - Hamlet
I like this place and willingly could waste my time in it - As You Like It

I vote that we stay away from from "tough guy" sayings. I often meet people who are bigger, stronger, tougher, and have endured hardships greater than I can imagine. I have no desire to wear a shirt that proclaims "I think I am better than you because I'm a member of this gym." To quote Lao-Tzu, "He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know."

Hey Mike,

Not to worry we'll make you a special one.

Lara & Michael

I agree w/ Tom about the current shirts. I also don't own one because I think they're too overtly aggressive to wear in public (particularly "Smoke you like cheap crack", which I think is particularly tasteless given Oakland's problems). I also agree that a cool logo will go a lot further than a pithy saying. I like the Crossfit San Diego shirts because they're simple (although not terribly original): http://www.crossfitsandiego.com/cfsd/2008/02/tuesday-febru-3.html

You know, I have to agree with Tom and Brad. I like the *idea* of slogans like "smoke you like cheap crack" and "suck it up buttercup", but I don't own one and probably would not wear it in public even if someone gave one to me. They strike me as too confrontational, not inviting or appealing in the least. Kind of like an off-color in joke that I would not want to have to explain if someone asked.

I think the latin phrases might also be a bit too elitist, and I've had 3 years of latin. The goal here is basically marketing, right? How many people woould have any idea what those phrases mean?

I would wear a shirt that had a cool logo and the saying "Forgine Elite Fitness" or "Elite Fitness for Every Body", and I bet most of you would too. Some of the other crossfit shirts I've seen on the main site photos "it doesn't have to be fun to be fun" for example, are also great because they do not even appear to be agressive. They focus on how tough/effective the workouts are, not on how much better or tougher WE are, which can be quite offputting to the viewer and make the wearer uncomfortable since we all realize (as Tom said) that it is total BS to assume or imply that we are better or tougher than anyone else because we do crossfit. This is also one reason why Namaste MotherFers, although it is kind of funny, would not work.

I'm not a marketing guy but it makes sense to me to stick to something simple, catchy, appealing to a wide audience, and non-offensive if you want to sell T-shirts that people will actually be proud to wear all over town, and spread the word about Crossfit (or anything else for that matter).

Here is a good one I just found:
I'm going to order a bunch of these.

http://www.zazzle.com/what_s_so_hard_about_a_corn_allergy_shirt-235602159990577987?ZCMP=ProductPageRecs

I want a shirt that says, "it doesn't have to be fun to be fun" - I think that's perfect.

OK, I'll admit to buying one of the INFIDEL shirt from HQ...and as soon as I look like Greg A I'll wear it in public. ;-)

That said, here are a couple relatively unoffensive suggestions:

- If you *are* ready, you don't have to *get* ready.

- Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Let me preface this by saying I'm not trying to be sarcastic in this post. Seriously.

First off I love Jonathan's quote. It may be a little wordy but I really like it b/c it embodies everything that I love about CrossFit. Just before some of the particularly nasty workouts I get super anxious but I also get a metaphorical hard on, sometimes actual. The same feeling I get just before dropping in on a super steep run on my snowboard, bombing downhill on my mountain bike on a trail that is well beyond my skill level (my collar bone can atest to this), or trying to clear a 9+ feet into a 3x3x3 hot tub. Point being CrossFit workouts are more intense than the average, and they elicit a more intense feeling (before, during and after), and most importantly elicit more dramatic results than the average workouts people are doing. Therefore I think the shirts should portray that. And just as the workouts are intense, and often ridiculously insane, so too are many of the slogans on the shirts. White people love setting themselves apart from the norm, and the norm here is the treadmill walking, leg pressing, preacher curling majority.

When it comes to fitness, I consider myself an elitist, just as everyone else who does Crossfit should. Sure there are people out there that are more badass than myself and have gone through much tougher things than Barbara, Fran, or Murph. And when I meet them I give them all the respect they deserve along with a verbal hand job. However, when I'm training outside of CF I want people to know the reason I'm in ridicoulsly good shape and able to do a workout for 20 minutes at a rate and using weight that they couldn't sustain for 45 seconds is because I do Crossfit and I want to tell them that with a possibly obnoxious or "tough guy" shirt. Crossfit will never be for everyone, and I think the people out in the public that may get turned off by the slogans on the shirts are people that have no desire of pushing their body WELL past what is "comfortable", or what they think possible. Its the people that are intrigued by the shirts, and the fact that they are different, just as the workouts are different, THESE are the people that are open to exploring what is acceptable for t-shirts and for fitness.

Wow this turned into a long post. But it gave me an abundance of practice in my HTML codes.

Also just to repeat what I said earlier, I consider myself an elitist.

Back when I was just a pup, I had a Primus shirt with the words "You Suck" across the back which would frequently draw ire from people who didn't understand the reference. While funny in retrospect, I wouldn't wear that shirt out now and for the same reason wouldn't wear the current shirts I see at CFO. I don't see anything wrong with them per se - they're just not my style (not to mention I won't be smoking anybody like anything until I've got a lot more crossfit under my belt).

I'd buy a basic Crossfit shirt/hoodie/etc in a heartbeat... it doesn't have to be totally vanilla, but I like simple. The name 'Crossfit' alone caught my interest enough to check out the website and from there, it pretty much sold itself.

However, the best crossfit shirt I've seen yet was on the affiliate blog I think... someone posted a pic of their toddler wearing a shirt that said "I Poop for Time"

I would totally wear that shirt.

after seeing all of the t-shirts at the cert, i was thinking about the slogans. most of them were chosen to appeal to a bad-ass MMA fighter. even though i wouldn't wear some of them, i don't mind them at all on other people, no matter how bad-ass they are. they usually just seem ironic. everyone has their own threshold for how much irony they're willing to carry around on their back. for me, "suck it up, buttercup" is just right.

Nabil, what you said, except for the handjob thing.

Tom C, Allen, Good Brad -

I'm with you guys on the current shirts. Never bought one b/c I don't want to get beat up.

Latin stuff is cool, but it turns into a headscratcher.

I like something about "pain", "suffering"....etc...

"poop for time" is a hoot.

One more thing, what's the thread count?

Nabil,

Your link to the Stuff White People Like is truly excellent. As a proud black man, I got a hearty chuckle out of it.

This is a test to see if I can make something bold. How about italic? Now I am going to try to link to CrossFit Oakland.

"Namaste MotherFers" is my favorite but I probably wouldn't have the balls to wear it.

How about: "It Hurts so Good!"

"Fran Is My Homegirl" I would f-ing rock that shirt... as long as the cut of the t-shirt was appropriately snug.

As an aside, the "Stuff White People Like" blog has given new meaning to my life.

brandon: did you see the blog entry about mos def?

nice melee of ideas and thoughts... are we narrowing the possibilities for slogans down to only one? If so I would like to suggest staying away from the docile non confrontational slogans. If you would like a nice non elitist( Crossfit "forging elite fitness") sweatshirt, the headquarters store has them for sale right now.
I hope that we find something both intelligent and provocative for our slogan.

Maybe some old timey roman emperor quotes from Julius Caesar so like both latiny and inspiring
"Veni, vidi, vici." (I came, I saw, I conquered) or if he's to cliche then some of emperor Marcus Aurelius' quotes

"Anger cannot be dishonest"
"The act of dying is one of the acts of life"
"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."

Or perhaps you like Winston Churchill?
"This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure."

Just some Ideas, i look forward to seeing the perfect slogan posted

nice melee of ideas and thoughts... are we narrowing the possibilities for slogans down to only one? If so I would like to suggest staying away from the docile non confrontational slogans. If you would like a nice non elitist( Crossfit "forging elite fitness") sweatshirt, the headquarters store has them for sale right now.
I hope that we find something both intelligent and provocative for our slogan.

Maybe some old timey roman emperor quotes from Julius Caesar so like both latiny and inspiring
"Veni, vidi, vici." (I came, I saw, I conquered) or if he's to cliche then some of emperor Marcus Aurelius' quotes

"Anger cannot be dishonest"
"The act of dying is one of the acts of life"
"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."

Or perhaps you like Winston Churchill?
"This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure."

Just some Ideas, i look forward to seeing the perfect slogan posted

Loren, that Churchill quote is bad ass. I really like it.

Oooohh - "dare and endure" cool...

I think the following slogans would be cool:

"I bet you five bucks I can jump over that"

"INCONCEIVABLE!" or in the same spirit, "This is the Dread Pirate Workout." This could have a graphic of Fezzik trying to crush Wesley.

"Pumping Irony"

"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentation of their women."

"Putting On the Foil!" If you get this reference we will be friends for a long time.

or...

How about a line of totally fictional Crossfit affiliates:

Crossfit Tatooine

Crossfit Xanadu

etc.

Casey -

I've been to a Mos Def concert and I can confirm that white people do indeed like him. I think my favorite is #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes.

I think a Crossfit shirt should depict and explain exactly what Crossfit is. Maybe something like this:

"Take a marathoner and strap him to a treadmill, then set it ablaze, while he is screaming chain a body builder to a preacher curl machine a throw him off a tall building. Finally, place anthrax in the air vents going into a pilates studio (place a 15lb. dumbbell in front of the door to keep them locked in (their "long and lean" muscles will never have the strength to push the door open)). Once you've done all this take one part DNA and two parts training regimen of the following individuals: Michael Johnson, Paul Hamm (or which ever of those two gymnast twins that was better), Jordan O'Neill (Demi Moore's character in GI Jane) a grenade from Tony Montana's "little friend", any article of clothing from Steven Segal in Under Seige Part 1(anything from Under Seige Part 2 is not an appropriate substitute) and bring them to a simmer in a large sauce pan over medium heat, add in 2 parts gasoline, one part battery acid, and one part crystal meth, then bring to a boil. Drink 12 ounces and poor the remainder on your head. Finish off by punching a baby in the face. And there you have it... CrossFit!"

This meal is approximately 12 Blocks + 4 fats

The text may need to be a little small as to get the entire phrase to fit on the back of the shirt. Its nice, it explains, its to the point, and I don't think it should offend anyone.

Another vote for "Fran is my homegirl" or the like.

enough of the slogans...

just put a picture of nabil in his franfit and caption this is crossfit.

ahh, Nabil. Soooooo good. I vote for that. I have to say that whenever I wear my "smoke you like cheap crack" t-shirt, and especially my valley crossfit "trample the weak, hurdle the dead" shirts, I feel like 1/2 badass, 1/2 douchebag, and I would like to keep the douchebag-ness to a minimum. Loren, the Churchill quote was good. He had a lot of good ones. i still like the one I posted earlier.

oh, and the stuff white people like is awesome. i'm sending that to a lot of people.

how's this for html: BIG RED

what? the html thing didn't work. what the crap?

Another vote for "Fran is my homegirl"... And Brandon "I" actually thought of that this morning you just beat me to it!

Here is one from Commander Ekundayo Wilson.."If you are not one of us, you're one of them"

How about, Crossfit is for Pussies, I think that Churchill said it first...maybe Kennedy...or was it Kennedy quoting Churchill...I forget.

For you, Tom, that would be:

Crossfit est pro pussies

We could also do some variations:

Crossfit is good for pussies
My pussy likes Crossfit
Pussies like Crossfit

Too offensive? You should see the versions I left out!

(Actually, I will put the best one here...in latin...operor crux crucis eat pussy)

This is why I love you guys

I am a strong opponent to anything that has latin on it...unless it is whatever LB said about eating cats. Lain is stupid! End of story.
I like Jonathon's quote "if you're not nervous before a workout, maybe it's not hard enough" and I like all of the "offensive" ones as well. I generally like things that will instigate a challenge.
I do however think that Nabil should be in charge of coming up with the slogan...anybody that will jump off the neigbors house and dive into a pool that is only waist deep can put whatever the F___ they want on their shirt!

"Use as Rx'd"

Fran, Helen, Murph, Rest

I meant to say that Latin is stupid. I have no problems with Lain.

I agree. No Latin. Slightly offensive is okay.

I think that we should borrow some of this guy's quotes for the CFO slogan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBqoaW2oEsU

If the quote/logo said "Fran is my homegirl" what would the picture be of? I did a quick google image search of fran...Sorry to say but Fran didn't produce the results I was looking for. My vote is for Cindy to be my homegirl!

LB-
WOW! Just wow!

We can use this picture:

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/PittCCTJoeyAllisonNYC1-th.jpg

LB...will you please email me the ones you left out, and in that same email, translate the Lain version. Thank you.

OK I vote for both of Joe P's slogans. I'd buy those shirts!

"Use as Rx'd"
"Fran, Helen, Murph, rest"

LB -
If you got any graphics in mind, I'd like to see them!

"Don't be that Guy."

Here you go, Daniel

"Globo Gym? Don't be that Guy."

We can use this picture: http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/PittCCTJoeyAllisonNYC1-th.jpg

No on AllisonNYC. I would rather read the main site's rest day comments three times in a row than be subjected to anything else involving her. She annoys me like few others.

Latin is stupid!

If I knew how to say "Eat my shorts in Latin," I would. :) I'll try for Spanish instead. Come mi ropa de interior. Note: I am kidding.

Here's a potential winner:

I think I just shat myself - CrossFit Oakland

I also rather like "My Mom makes me do CrossFit." Good one, Albert.

Oh, I found the perfect picture. This one is it.

Lucien Freud's Sleeping Nude.

AllisonNYC has nothing on this. Note, the link above is probably work safe, although it does feature a painting of a naked woman.

credit this to Brandon who was working hard to convert the masses at mallards several weekends ago...

"gods in the making" or,
"religion for every body"

One of my favorite quotes from 'The Tick' would make a good slogan...

'Gravity is a harsh mistress'

nabil, LB: i'm crying from laughter

brandon: saw mos def also. case in point?
also went to see D12 and crystal method. i totally blended in.
and #87, ... um.

YES! Gravity is a harsh mistress. That's it. Also a good one from teh tick would be "Spoon!" the shat one is good. I also like "use as Rx'd." good one, Joe.

How about "your mom makes me do crossfit."

Nabil -

brilliant -

your rant reminds me of Kevin Costner's rant in Bull Durham:

"What do you believe in, then?"

Crash Davis:

"Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

And the "P" reference was for LB.

LB - I have such a girl-crush on you...

i'm surprised, 60 some posts and no play off WOD?

"Doing FRAN in under 3 minutes doens't mean you blew your WOD..."

I like a lot of the suggestions thus far (Fran is my homegirl; Use as RXd), but how about something that's more specific to CFO? With reference to our massaging neighbors at the end of the block:

- Our finisher kicks your happy ending's ass

- CFO: Just a few lunges away from heaven

- Help, I've forgotten the safety word!

"Crossfit Oakland...where blowing your WOD in under 3 minutes is a good thing"

Another vote for Joe's "Use as Rx'd". Although honestly I'd buy one that just said CrossFit Oakland.

Can the T-shirts please be American Apparel?

Bill -

you are cracking me up!

Hope you're coming tomorrow.

"Powered by CrossFit"

CrossFit: Not Boring

CrossFit — What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Let's just cut to the point. How about:

"CrossFit — It makes your current workout seem kind of pointless."

Nabil, you are freaking hilarious. That was the best thing I've read in a long time.

I plugged LB's Latin slogan into an online translator and here's what came out:
"to work cross eat pussy"

I like "Use as Rx'd", "Dangerous" and all the other boring non-confrontational crap. I guess we should add that to stuff white people like, or at least white people over 30 who aren't badass enough to jump off roofs into hot tubs.

Crossfizzle fo Shizzle

Did I really proclaim "gods in the making?" I continue to be both surprised and impressed by the witticisms that escape my lips after I have consumed my body weight in alcohol.

Crossfit Oakland - The most fun you can have with 2 poods, a rubber floor, 50 feet of rope and uncommonly heavy balls.

or

Crossfit Oakland - Neither of our bathrooms actually lock and thats the way we like it.

Ok, daddy has had too much to drink, time to nap.

How about Crossfitish - you know a play on Oaklandish.

Oh, and my two cents on the "smoke you like cheap crack" slogan:

Beyond its insensitivity to the plight of numerous Oakland residents, the phrase "cheap crack" is redundant. Crack by its very nature is cheap and part of the reason why so many people are addicted to it.

I'm out.

b: it's not just oakland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytJpZguSy2U

"Straight from the WTF files, Whitney Houston's erratic responses to ABC's Diane Sawyer helped the one-time superstar diva score one of the highest rated TV interviews ever. Originally meant to promote the album 'Just Whitney,' the sit-down also sadly answered the ubiquitous question, was Whitney on drugs? "First of all, let's get one thing straight: Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack," she said after claiming that her real addiction was "making love."

She also said "crack is wack"

"So many girls, so little time."

casey, this one's better

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40Gi28pNruA&NR=1

Crossfit Oakland - Neither of our bathrooms actually lock and thats the way we like it.

Oh, man. That is too damn good. Nabil gets my vote for "Commenter of the Year."

Can the T-shirts please be American Apparel?

I'm down with that. The problem is finding any garments that are still made in the US. However, I would pay more for a shirt that is free of coerced and/or underpaid labor.

I love how American Apparel has become synonymous with good labor practices, yet everyone seems to ignore the fact that their advertising is basically soft-core porn. Every time I'm in one of those stores I feel like a dirty old man.

American Apparel huh? You guys are too predictable. See #84 on Stuff White People Like. Jonathan is right about the soft-core porn in the advertising... the frustrating thing is I don't mind soft-core porn at all... it just sucks when its of ugly people. Not to mention there is something "fishy" about the shirts they sell... I just don't think I want to wear a one of these shirts when it has something about "blowing your WOD" printed on it.

I say we go with an Under Armour shirt. Its a good choice b/c its mainstream, but not too mainstream like Nike. The guy who started the company is a great success story. And the highly wicking, breathable fabric will delay a common condition of Crossfitters nationwide which is PSR (Premature Shirt Removal)

for all of you who enjoyed stuff white people like, you should also check out http://stuffebplike.com/. these are a couple of the best bloggs out there

How about,

Crossfit Oakland
"Do you want to hit a fool so hard his face turns into juice"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7zuKvd0sCE

love the churchhill quote. love the line about punching a baby in the face - that is so wrong it rocks.

my input: "crossfitters - less than gods but more than human"

I love how American Apparel has become synonymous with good labor practices

I didn't even know "American Apparel" was a brand. I figured he meant a domestically produced t-shirt. I stand corrected.

One last idea (just to keep this thread alive:

CrossFit: Nothing has killed me yet.

I actually didn't know American Apparel has become synonymous with good labor practices, though of course that's another great reason to buy them. I just think they make really high-quality T-shirts.

I read through even single comment and still have a few tears on my cheeks. In order of hilarity:
1) CFO - It makes your workout seems kind of pointless.
2) CFO - A few lunges away from heaven
3) Daily WOD - Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
4) The most fun you can have with 2 pood, rubber floor, 18'rope....
5) CFO - Nothing has killed me yet.
(Apparently I like Bill's sense of humor!)
and my own contribution...
6) CFO - The best tossers, pushers, and squatters around!

A few last words on the t-shirt slogan thing: I'm not a huge fan of the "crack" slogan, but I love the Buttercup one and I hope that has another printing in the future. I don't mind too much if the shirt is semi-aggressive, but if it is over-the-top I won't wear it because I'm the worst crossfitter at our gym and surely someone would think I'm an idiot for wearing it.

MJ--
You are not the worst crossfitter! You can do pull ups!

Well Mzz LB,
Thanks for noticing. Apparently our love affair is being eclisped by some others (men and women) having big love for you. That's ok, as long as we share a bed in Tahoe. hehehe
As far as slogans go, can't you think of something witting about lawyers and pain??? :) MJ

Witting....how about witty. that will do

Just got back from Mexico and catching up on my CFO comments. This is a good one. I'll throw my hat into the ring:

-A play off the Office Space scene:

(With a picture of a face in pain) - "This is my O Face"

-A play off the song from the "my better is better than your better" commercials:

"CFO - I Got my Money Back"

Oh please, mary jo, you are all kinds of badass-ness!

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lrpomivku mwsavuetk jtsdge hgmjlzv vxmydnfe wdhrt qjfl